Free humorous sayings, quotes and quotations
Without geography, you're nowhere.
~famous humorous by Author Unknown
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
~inspirational sayings about Humorous quotes by Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
~humorous quotes by Charles Schulz
She was what we used to call a suicide blond - dyed by her own hand.
~famous quotes about Humorous by Saul Bellow
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
~humorous sayings by Elayne Boosler
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family.
~famous humorous by Jerry Seinfeld
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
~inspirational sayings about Humorous quotes by George Ade
A great name for a new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now.
~humorous quotes by Author Unknown
If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.
~famous quotes about Humorous by Song title by Jimmy Buffet
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
~humorous sayings by John Kenneth Galbraith, Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.
~famous humorous by Author Unknown
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
~inspirational sayings about Humorous quotes by P.J. O'Rourke
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
~humorous quotes by Author Unknown
Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.
~famous quotes about Humorous by Author Unknown
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.
~humorous sayings by Nicholas Chamfort
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success
~famous humorous by Robert Orben
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
~good sayings about Carpe Diem by Author Unknown
Do you know why grandchildren are always so full of energy? They suck it out of their grandparents.
~humorous quotes by Gene Perret
Photography records the gamut of feelings written on the human face, the beauty of the earth and skies that man has inherited, and the wealth and confusion man has created. It is a major force in explaining man to man.
~motivational quotes about Photography sayings by Edward Steichen
What a folly to dread the thought of throwing away life at once, and yet have no regard to throwing it away by parcels and piecemeal.
~humorous sayings by John Howe
One man's folly is another man's wife.
~famous humorous by Helen Rowland
The concern that some women show at the absence of their husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them and being with them, but from their apprehension that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which they do not participate, and which, from their being at a distance, they have not the power of interrupting.
~good sayings about Marriage by Michel de Montaigne
Never answer and angry word with an angry word. It’s always the second remark that starts the trouble.
~humorous quotes by
Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.
~motivational quotes about Sex sayings by Butch Hancock
Just as much as we see in others we have in ourselves.
~humorous sayings by William Hazlitt
Give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers where I can walk undisturbed.
~famous humorous by Walt Whitman
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
~good sayings about Attitude by Anatole France
Some people get lost in thought because it's such unfamiliar territory.
~humorous quotes by G. Behn
If food is your best friend, it's also your worst enemy.
~motivational quotes about Dieting sayings by Grandpa Edward Jones, 1978
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
~humorous sayings by Prince Philip
A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, too the time is coming when there will no longer be one standard of morality for poetry and another for life. To anyone tender of conscience, the ties formed by a free connection are stronger than the legal ones.
~famous humorous by Ellen Key, quoted by Sprading in Liberty and the Great Libertarians
Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing.
~good sayings about Grief by Ralph Waldo Emerson
To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so
~humorous quotes by Robert Orben
Nobody motivates today's workers. If it doesn't come from within, it doesn't come. Fun helps remove the barriers that allow people to motivate themselves
~motivational quotes about Motivation sayings by Herman Cain
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.
~humorous sayings by Josh Billings
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